My best friend hates me for dating her ex

I ' m a strong believer that fighting over a boy is one of the worst things that girls can do to each other, but it unfortunately took a bit of firsthand experience to come to this conclusion. Keep reading to see how I fought with a friend over a boy and quickly learned that it ' s the dumbest thing to argue about.

The early days of high school aren ' t the most fruitful dating times, and at my small, private school, the dating scene was even worse than normal. I dated one boy for about a year, but he went to a different high school in our town, leaving me pretty much unscathed by the drama that followed most relationships in my own class.

Dating a good friend's ex-girlfriend - conflict of interest | Ask MetaFilter

Emma and Liam had a fairly messy breakup, and I ' d been by her side through the whole ordeal. Liam hadn ' t handled the end of their relationship well. He broke up with her pretty much out of the blue, so she was completely unprepared.


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Emma was strong considering the circumstances, but it was her first difficult breakup and she was having trouble articulating how she felt. As her best friend, I got angry in her defense and yelled at Liam for her, making sure she knew she could talk to me at every turn. Eventually, however, the breakup faded into a memory in everyone else ' s mind. We were young and very few of us had experienced a really hurtful breakup, so after a few weeks everything went back to business as usual.

I resumed my friendship with Liam and it seemed like everything was back to normal in our little world, minus one relationship that didn ' t affect many of us anyway.

A few months later I broke up with my first boyfriend, and Liam and I were spending more and more time together. We ' d been close friends for so long, but those feelings started to evolve into something deeper.

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Is it ever a good idea to date a friend's ex?

After a few weeks of testing the waters, we decided to give dating a try. Even though dating a friend ' s ex was not abnormal given the size of my high school, looking back now, I can definitively say it ' s never a good idea. Emma and Liam developed a cordial relationship, but there was just too much history, and dating Liam created a huge divide between Emma and me. The fight between Emma and I was a slow burn rather than an all-out brawl. The tension and anger started when I began spending more time with Liam.

My Ex is Dating My Friend! How to Handle it and How to Keep From Going Insane

He lived close to me, so he would come over to my house many days after school. I was always nervous about telling Emma I was with him, which led to a lot of white lies and attempted cover-ups. The truth always came out, and my inability to be honest with Emma was the first crack in the foundation of our relationship.

When I was unable to be honest with her, she felt that she couldn ' t come to me, either. Eventually, neither of us were willing to say what we really felt, which led to more problems down the line. Emma felt she had no choice but to say she was okay with it or risk making me angry and losing my friendship all together. Young and dumb as I was, however, I took her at her word and happily felt that I followed all the necessary steps to have an Emma-approved relationship with Liam.


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But after Liam and I started dating, Emma became distant. I suggest you focus less on how your feelings are impairing your present romantic relationship and more on how to repair what was clearly an important past friendship. I wonder how many people have hooked up with a new, exciting lover only to miss the mundanity of their ex, or married and had kids only to hanker after their singleton days, or even moved to a better paid job and felt nostalgic for the camaraderie of the less lucrative one. We humans have the ability to travel between our own two ears, come up with new ideas, imagine alternative worlds and encounter imaginary people.

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Insist on a rendezvous and listen sympathetically to what your friend has to say, explain how bad the situation has left you feeling and try to establish new and workable ground rules for how you can return to being soul mates. If you shrug off the guilt and set your sights on restoring your friendship I suspect at least two of you will be far happier.

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My Friendship With Ex Was A Bad Idea

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